**Collaborative Post**
AD: Divorce is never easy, but it can become even more messy when children are involved. The harsh reality, however, is that it is a common situation that hits many families and something that has to be dealt with. Of course it is going to be a difficult time for everyone involved as well as there being a lot of emotion involved but whatever the reason for the divorce it is important that both parties remember to put the kids first.
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There are many reasons for divorce, but it is never a child’s fault. And if there’s only one thing that still unites you as a couple, it is your love of the kids. As such, you both want to make it the least distressing situation for them. Here’s how.
Divorce is never easy, but it can become very messy when children are involved. The harsh reality, however, is that it is a common situation that hits many families.
There are many reasons for divorce, but it is never a child’s fault. And if there’s only one thing that still unites you as a couple, it is your love of the kids. As such, you both want to make it the least distressing situation for them. Here’s how.
Be United When Introducing Divorce
Whether you fell out of love, moved through life at different paces, or had an affair doesn’t matter. If you have come to the conclusion that the marriage is beyond saving, it’s vital that you are honest and open with the kids. The more time they have to process the information, the easier it will be for them in the long run.
Even if you aren’t on good terms with each other, parents must be united in this discussion. Show that you both still love them and reassure them that they are not to blame. There will inevitably be tears, but this approach can soften the impact.
Speak To A Professional
Divorce is a major moment in your life. Some couples try to arrange things amicably between themselves, but the legal procedure still needs to be completed. In most cases, working with a family law attorney is advised. Their support can cover everything from financial matters to custody of the children.
In an ideal world, you can work together to reach a fair agreement for both parties while supporting your children. But if it does become a struggle to stay civil, the knowledge that you’ve taken the right path will make the road ahead far smoother. For everyone.
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Try To Complete The Transition To A New Norm Fast
Where possible, you should want to promote stability in other parts of your child’s life. For example, it would be great if they can remain in the same family home. Unfortunately, it isn’t always possible. From finding a new home to transitioning into a new school, you must support your child at all times. Ideally, you’ll complete these steps fast.
For starters, it provides a distraction and a source of positivity in these difficult times. Moreover, settling into the new routines shows that this new chapter doesn’t have to be scary. A positive mindset is everything for your child right now.
Listen
Divorce is difficult on you, even if you no longer love your ex. For a child, though, it will turn their life upside down. Even if you follow the steps above, they may be scared and confused. Likewise, they may have things that they want to get off of their chest. Your willingness to listen and ensure that their voice is heard can make all the difference.
In some cases, speaking to a therapist must be required. However, most children just need reassurance and clear answers. It is hugely beneficial when both parents can offer consistency and avoid bad-mouthing each other. Anger is the last thing they need to see.
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