When This is All Over...

Today I have really struggled to lift myself up, to pull myself out of the slump I have felt myself slipping into for the last few days. I can't lie, I am really struggling, its week 3 of self isolating for us (almost week 4) and the toll is showing. In that time I have barely left the house except from a walk 3-4 times a week (literally for 30-40 minutes round the block with the kids) and one trip to Tesco.

I have to admit though that I feel like a bit of a fraud feeling this way. There are so many men and women who, every day are risking their lives to protect us, to serve us, to ensure that we can get by all whilst risking theirs and their families lives to do so. So feeling this way when all I am being asked to do is stay home feel a bit... well stupid really! But I can't shake the feeling

So today, in a bid to focus on something more positive than my declining mood and the heart-breaking stats flashing across my tv and social media. I thought I would write a list. A list of all the things I want to do when this is all over, the simple things, the ones I have most definitely taken for granted before all this.

Here is my list...

- Enjoy the outdoors even more. I am the first to admit that when the kids ask to go to the park I let out a silent groan. It's not that I don't love getting outside with the kids but it's something about the park that before now I have avoided. Maybe its the constant requests to push them on the swings until my arms fall off or the requests to push them on the zip line, often narrowly avoiding getting bashed in the face or shins by a child.

However I can whole heartedly say right now that I am missing being able to go to the park and after all this is over I will not moan about a park trip again! I can't wait to be able to head to the park with the kids and hopefully some of their friends, watching them navigate the equipment, have picnics on the grass and watch the kids giggle and laugh as they soar through the air on the swings. Perhaps I should start doing some weights now to build up my arm strength for extra long swing pushes!!!

- Trips to the beach for absolutely no reason! I love the beach, the seaside, the sound of the waves lapping at the sand and the feel of the golden warm sand beneath my toes. But our nearest beach is over an hour away and we often end up making the excuse of traffic or time not to visit. But when all this is over I cant wait to take a trip to the beach, many trips in fact!

I am going to make a point of making more time to go to the beach, a happy place for me and the kids for sure. I can't wait to hunt for shells in the sand and feel the sun on my skin as the kids build sandcastle and get sticking from eating ice creams in the sunny heat.

- Be more organised. I love to write a list but when it comes to actually being organised I will admit I leave a lot to be desired. That is especially true when it comes to my food shopping and if the lockdown has taught me anything its that when I really need to be, I can actually organise myself to do an online shop.

Before everything happened I was a daily shopper which was embarrassingly costing us a fortune, money that we definitely didn't have! I was forever forgetting to do the online shop and having to squeeze in trips to the supermarket to buy tea for the day in between work, school, swim club and various other activities too. Since being on lockdown and doing the shopping online, once a week I have saved money but more importantly I have been more organised. We have known what we are having for tea each evening, no dashes to the shops, buying rubbish we didn't need or arguing about what we all fancy.

- Carry on the kindness. If you look closely through the shocking headlines, the heart-breaking figures and all of the politics of everything there has been some absolutely incredible kindness throughout almost every community in the country. People have been helping others, businesses stepping up to provide for those in need. Family, friends and strangers have been checking in on each other, offering help support and adorning their windows with beautiful pictures to brighten everybody else's day.

Through a crisis the country has come together. Money is no longer relevant, fancy cars are hidden away in garages, designer clothes and make up have been swapped for pyjamas, joggers and face masks and people are actually taking time to think about self care. The world has been forced to slow down and through that, through the sadness has come some beauty. Nature is thriving and kindness is ruling everything else and if we take anything from this I hope it's the kindness and compassion we have all found in ourselves.

I have also agreed to camp more, its something my husband and kids love to do (whilst I am a little more reserved about going...). However I figure if we can get by all these weeks of lockdown together, we can definitely take on a week of camping!

I think we will all take a lot from this situation, some will be the sadness of the friends, family and neighbours we have lost but I think its so important we try to find the positives too. The time we got to spend with family, the new found respect and love we have for our hard working key workers, realising that our children (and us adults) are more than capable of creating our own fun and entertainment and perhaps we don't need to spend so much money on these kind of things in the future!

Whatever the positive its important that in a time like this we try to find some. But to also remember to be kind to yourself too. Cry if you need to, vent if you need to and don't feel bad for struggling, this is an uncertain and anxious time for us all. We must try to find a glimmer of happiness to stay optimistic in these tough times. 

I'd absolutely love for you to share your list in the comments below too please. Perhaps we can all give each other a bit of inspiration of all the things we want to enjoy once the lockdown is over and life begins to return to normality.

I hope you are all keeping safe and well.

xXx