"You just need a break"
It seems to be one of those common phrases we all say whenever anyone has a problem, sleep deprived... you need a break. feeling down... you need a break. But that isn't always the right solution for us all, what if my kids are my break? My break from the stress of the world we live in, my break from the mundane routine and being a grown up.
For me, I don't need nor want a break from my kids!
I will take a house full of laughter, jokes and make believe over a house of silence and tidy. Now don't get me wrong there are tantrums and tears and sometimes I take a few minutes longer in the bathroom just to gain my composure for the next round of "but mum I'm bored". But in reality I wouldn't have it any other way and time away from them fills me with dread.
My children are my life, they are the reason I know what true love is and the reason why I have so many happy memories. I don't need an escape or a break, but I'm certainly not bashing parents who do! We are all different, parent differently and needing a break doesn't make any difference to your parenting and its ok to admit you need one, just like its ok to admit you don't.
James recently went on a camp trip with his Beaver Scouts group, it was Friday-Sunday meaning 2 whole nights away! It was the longest he has ever been away from us and whilst I let him go I was so apprehensive about it and deep down just wanted to screw up the form and pretend it never happened.
He was so excited to go but as he walked up the steps to the coach and disappeared towards the back I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I missed him more than I ever felt imaginable and the first night found myself hugging his pillow, wiping away my tears counting down the moments until he was back.
I of course didn't let James see my tears but did ensure as he stepped off the coach on his return I scooped him up, span him around and gave him the biggest hug and kiss I could manage. It made me realise that I don't need a break or want to be apart from my kids. Yes I may moan that they drive me mad and that the bickering is draining but without them I'm lost!
Yes life with kids is crazy and chaotic, they keep me on my toes and might be the reason my hair is going grey at 27 but that's parenting isn't it? That manic, crazy, bursting with pride kind of love that I don't think I ever want a break from.
Please don't think I'm judging you as a parent, we are all different and need different things and that's ok! Life would be boring if we all felt the same, did the same and acted the same! If you need a break, take it and don't feel guilty. Just remember a happy parent means a happy child so we have do what we need to so that can happen!
xXx
What a lovely article! I felt the same way when my kids went on their first trips :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely in the 'need a break' camp, but I wasn't for a long time - I wrote a post about it recently actually. people would tell me I needed a break in the early days, and whilst part of me felt that would be amazing, a bigger part just wanted to stay with my baby. Now she is a big brute of a 3 year old I'm much more comfortable with the idea of spending time away from her, and when I do she's absolutely fine with it which means I can really relax.
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