There are pro's and con's to all choices we are given to make when it comes to our babies and raising them. Some are medical, some are personal and some choices are taken out of our hands for various reasons. So why when it comes to making our choices do we fear being judged and by the people we hope would understand.. other parents!
When we make choices for our children we all think them through, we choose them because we genuinely feel this will be the best option for us. Its not like we just flip a coin and hope for the best, pushing through even if something isn't working. Of course not we all want the best for our children and what works for some may not work for others, that doesn't mean its wrong.
There have been so many times as a parent where I have felt the need to justify my choices only to kick myself later in the day for feeling this way. I am the parent and my children are happy (mostly aside from tantrums!), healthy and active. Yes my youngest doesn't sleep through the night, it would appear she is some sort of nocturnal creature who enjoys keeping us awake lol! But I don't think that changes any of my choices would have made the slightest bit of difference.
We see pictures just like the one above over social media and we are quick to assume that these other parents have it "easy" or that there children couldn't possibly misbehave. Of course deep down we all know that's not true! In fact in the picture above this was a moment captured from a hard day. There had been tantrums, screaming, refusing to walk and both of them ate way too much sand that day. But in this photo we are smiling, we are happy and we are family just like you who have our ups, our downs and most definitely out fair share of tantrums and wrong decisions but ultimately it doesn't matter because we have each other and we get by.
In 20 years time when our children are all grown, becoming adults and maybe even thinking about a family themselves. They won't look back and remember what milk they drank or what nappies they wore. They will remember the love we gave, the hugs they had and hopefully the support we as parents can offer in supporting their choices. No judgement, no criticism and no doubt that they will do their best just like you did with them.
So come on mums, dads, parents, carers new mums or mums who's children are grown lets stop judging each other and be proud of the choices we made for our children what ever they may be. We don't need slogans or riddles to tell us what way is best to feed our children or how to raise them we just need to support each other, parenting is hard enough without doubting ourselves too.
xXx
There does seem to be this rise in pressure and judging parents these days. Don't know where it's stemming from and maybe it's always been there. Just with life, to each is own and like you said any choice has been thoroughly thought about xo
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult isn't it - I feel sometimes that the mainstream media seems to enjoy pitching families (especially women) against each other. Perhaps we need to step back from that, like you say, disengage. It's tricky, I remember facing so much opposition from people about breastfeeding Harry, and yet we did so well. My husband reckons it's because no one makes any money from successful breastfeeding!
ReplyDeleteI agree- judgment seems to get worse for parents; mums especially. They're judged for working, breastfeeding, not breastfeeding etc. I think we don't know their reasons and what is best for you and your child is not always good for another family. I dread how much more judgmental it'll be by the time I have kids lol x
ReplyDeleteI wish parents would just parent their own children and not get so het up about other's choices. Parenting is tough enough - you are right! Kaz
ReplyDeleteIt really irks me how women judge each other - mums have enough to deal with, without battling each other too! x
ReplyDeleteMy sister is due in a week and I have to say she's holding her own when she gets given so much advice, she just nods even if she plans on acting upon it or not. Every mum is different
ReplyDeleteI agree totally. Also I think women are particularly judgemental of other women. We should embrace parenthood and there is no rule book. As long as your kids are safe, fed, warm and cared for emotionally then that is all that is important.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally with you on this - it's up to you to bring up your children however you think is best, and it's none of anyone else's business as long as they're happy and cared for :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Parenting is hard enough without be made to feel like you should of done it differently, could have done it better!
ReplyDeleteWoo, yeah! We could all do with being a bit more supportive. i think it's hard though because we put SO much effort and thought into making our own decisions - and often we're not totally sure it was the right one - then when we see someone else doing it the way we decided not to... it either makes you doubt yourself or conjure up all the reasons why you aren't doing it that way. Minefield!
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