Where did that time go?

So my post today is a little bit different as I thought I would write about my feelings as a mummy.

 

When I had my little boy I was just 19 and I was so scared. I didn't know what I was suppose to do as a mummy or if I would be able to do it!

However we were blessed with our little boy James on 11th October 2009 and he was perfect! However things weren't as rosy as in the magazines life changed and I found myself suffering from Post natal depression. It was hard I didn't know at the time I had PND and I felt like a bit of a failure. All the magazines show these pictures of these mothers who have popped back into shape a week after giving birth and they look happy, healthy and glowing out walking with there babies.

The reality however is slightly different! Don't get me wrong I loved James to pieces but suddenly I had a little person to look after and sleepless nights with constant feeds and nappy changes thrown into that. It was like my life had changed over night and I had no idea how to cope.

 

(James 1 day old!)

 

However we got through as a family and things got easier as we established a routine and when I realised it was ok to ask for help! James grew up full of smiles and laughter and I realised I must be doing something right.

 

Sometimes its easy to blame your self or think you have failed as a Mum like those days when you spend the day in your pyjamas or the days when the kids will only eat turkey dinosaurs and waffles for tea or the times when you send them to nanny and grampys house for a few hours because you need a few hours to yourself. But that's ok!!

 

When he comes up to me at night and wants cuddles and kisses me goodnight and says "love you mummy" I realise that's not failing at all! James is happy, healthy and tells me daily he loves me. He is care free and enjoying life just as he should be. Yes some days I don't get out of my pyjamas or even brush my hair until after lunch but James doesn't care. He loves me because I am his mum because I offer him all the love I have.
When he runs around the park, or happily counts to 10 or even 15, when he comes out with words that are so impressive I don't think even hubby knows how to spell lol!! I think to myself that was me I was part of the process that nurtured this tiny baby into this intelligent beautiful boy!

 

James is now nearly 4 and he is such an intelligent little boy who is always happy. I am always getting compliments from passers by on how happy or polite he is and inside I think yep that was me! I taught him that!

 

(Here he is now with our pet guinea pig!)

 

Having a baby changes your life and yes its hard, yes it changes life for ever and YES its ok to struggle and admit it! we all got through it at some point and its OK!

So tonight give your little ones an extra tight cuddle and look at them look at what you have achieved look at your family and feel proud of yourselves you made that precious bundle!!